Ted Grier's Place

REDNECK COMPUTER TERMS

INTERNET: Where cafeteria workers put their hair.
HACKER: Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking.
FAX: What you lie about to the IRS.
DISKETTE: Female disco dancer
DIGITAL: Art of counting on your fingers
CRASH: When you go to Junior's party uninvited.
TERMINAL: time to call the undertaker.
CHIP: Pasture muffins you try not to step in.
CACHE: Needed when you run out of food stamps
BYTE: What your pit bull done to cousin Jethro
BUG: the reason you gave for calling in sick.
BAR CODE: Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern.
BACKUP: What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods.
KEYBOARD: Where you hang the keys to the John Deere
MAC: Big Bubbas favorite food
DOWNLOAD: What you do to a truck full of firewood
MEGAHERTZ: What happens when you drop a piece of wood while downloading
MODEM: What you did when the grass and the weeds got too tall.
MOUSE PAD: Where Mickey and Minnie live.
NETWORK: Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line.
ON LINE: Where to stay when takin' the sobriety test
ROM: Wheere the Pope lives
SCREEN: Helps keep the skeeters off the front porch
SUPERCONDUCTOR: Amtrak's employee of the year
SCSI: What you call your week old underwear.